My Forever Love

Last year we were together
We were once happy, in love
Whatever happen to those times we had together?
Whatever happen to the times when we were in love?

You are and will always be my forever love, the one I gave myself too, my only love, my true love

Don't you remember the times we walked on the beach holding hands, when you kissed me, and told me you loved me
I remember those times, I felt happy with you, and you with me

You are and will always be my forever love, the one I gave myself too, my only love, my true love

Do you remember me, my smile, my beauty?
Do you remember anything about me?
Have you forgotten everything we've been through
I don't want you to hurt me anymore, I want you to come back to me

You are and will always be my forever love, the one I gave myself too, my only love, my true love

Come back and find me my forever love

I'm Scared

I'm scared.... you broke down my walls, please don't hurt me
What you are looking for you will find in the aura I embody

I'm scared.... you have no idea, my life has lingered in pain
Prayed to God for understanding, a strong desire to bring about change

I'm scared..... stirring up emotions i dismissed, secretly hid them deep
Who would believe you were actually interested in me, not me

I'm scared.... feeling lost in life, figuring out what's best for me
Staying calm while God directs me to the heart that completes me

1:20pm
11-18-14
♡TY

Life, Love & Longevity

Life is everywhere, so many things seem unfair
Most people live life as if they don't care
Here & there life's emotions take the most out of me
Living life full of love, the peace of the feeling touches me deeply

Love leaves me wanting more, the vibrations I adore
Give me more Give me more, greater is in store
I'm opening the door, come unto me... waiting patiently
You will see, life filled with love equals up to longevity

Longevity is what I seek, negative words I will not speak
The love of life resides within me deep, opening my heart to seek
It's here to stay, the longevity of my love will never be replaced
Giving it to God, he is sending me a new life in love filled with with longevity my way

3:57am
11-18-14
♡TY

Redesigning Myself

Redesigning myself, don't need ill gotten help
Moving forward in life finally focusing on self
Healing slowly from emotions I have always felt

Changing from within, forgiven for my sin
My life is changing for better, soon to begin again
Letting go of the past, avoid ppl that don't want me to win

Redesigning myself, releasing negativity that sat deep
Afraid of love, forgotten pain lingered within me
Longing for a magical feeling, desire to feel complete

My life feels new, God is slowly showing me what I can do
Being patient on my journey to me, finding every clue
Relying solely on my faith, his word reigns undoubtedly true

5:48pm
11-15-14
♡TY

Is It You?

Is it you? God showed me everything but your face
The dreams real, so much has come true
Most of my encouragement & support silently came from you
The connection so deep, significant part of my journey

Is it you? My heart skips a beat.... I understand what you are not saying
The distance & silence, I'm beginning to think I'm going crazy
Afraid & withdrawn, refusing the risk of you hurting me
So hard to believe that it could finally be, protecting myself emotionally

Is it you? Lost & confused, no comprehension of what we say
Outside forces caused an explosion within me trying to break my faith
Keep pushing me, close to my grand escape
No matter the outcome, my future I refuse to anticipate

8:39am
10-19-14
♡TY

Nephrite Jade

I saw the Moon in your eyes.
I witnessed the Sun in your smile.
My air was purified whenever you spoke.
Your presence alone was a blessing.
When you walked I had to lay those petal of roses down for you.
It would have been disrespectful for you to touch the floor.
I never judged you.
Your flaws were well accepted.
Your mistakes didn't need any corrections.
Everything you did, to me it was perfect.

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Jennifer

My darling Jen

I feared I had lost love,
The ability to care....
To allow someone to care for me

Scared of never feeling,
drowned in chemicals.
All my dreams receding,
Never to be realized.

Reality has been altered,
open heart, open mind
Has brought me to this place
where beauty has a face

Now my future, though unclear,
Looks amazing!!!
From up here :)
Bring it on Baby!

I'd Be Lying

A song that ended up unfinished...

I could tell you that I don’t think about you any more
I could tell you that the pain has gone away
I could tell you I don’t wish you were here at my door
But I won’t, I just won’t

I could tell you I wish you had changed your mind
I could tell you my life hasn’t changed without you
I could tell you that my heart isn’t crumbling inside me
It isn’t so, it’s just not so

I’d be lying if I said that I don’t hurt
If I said my arms don’t ache when I’m not holding you
I’d be lying if I said I haven’t missed you
I’d be lying, I’d be lying, to myself

I could tell you that I’m doing okay by myself
I could tell you I don’t miss you as much as I do
I could tell you that the emptiness isn’t killing me
But I can’t, I just can’t

I’d be lying if I said that I don’t hurt
If I said my arms don’t ache when I’m not holding you
I’d be lying if I said I haven’t missed you
I’d be lying, I’d be lying, to myself

All I have are the memories
I close my eyes and you’re all I see
That winter night on that icy road
I got the call and my heart went cold

I’d be lying if I said that I don’t hurt
If I said my arms don’t ache when I’m not holding you
I’d be lying if I said I haven’t missed you
I’d be lying, I’d be lying, to myself

Liar, Liar. My Heart is on Fire.

How could you?
How could you do that to me?
My biggest thing.
My biggest rule.
The one thing I thought you'd never do...
Along side my largest fear.
Along side my largest worry.
You lied...
Straight to my face.
Like it was nothing...
I knew something was up.
I knew something wasn't right.
But I thought to myself,
"She wouldn't.
She would never.
After all the times I've stressed it as much as I could,
She wouldn't dare."
But there you went.
And here I go.
In a whirlwind of negative emotions.
My mind is froze.
Unable to think straight.
My heart in my stomach
Dissolving in acid and hate.
And the way I found out...
The way I found out that you lied...
I'm surprised I didn't have a heart attack and die.
I was in bed while you were asleep.
Next to me lay my girlfriend.
The most beautiful girl in the world to me.
The one person I trusted not to break me.
The one person I trusted not to push me back into my dark, cruel mind I once had.
My body froze in heat right down to my feet.
From head to toe I laid as stone not able to roll over and look at you in the face.
Even if your eyes were open,
I wouldn't have looked into them.
Your soft green eyes as black as your heart is all I would have seen...

But I still love you.
I always have, and I always will.
But I will not forget the way you make me feel...

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