Lifeboat

Lifeboat
Circular object
Adrift in see
Carry me
To safety
Lifeboat
Old device
Using buoyancy
Like gravity
To sail peacefully
Lifeboat
Drifting on
Aimlessly
Amongst the sea
Slowly
Lifeboat
Against a shark
Fails terribly
Not so great
At preventing
Fatalities

Human Yarn

I am a delicate ball of human yarn
Slowly unraveling
Among the heated metal tracks
As the train explodes into me
With a punishing deliverance
I spin in a clockwise circle
My upper torso shredding
Against the thick concrete barriers
My innards boiling
Beneath the speeding wheels
My eyes riveting in their sockets
At this point I have fully unraveled
My yarn strewn about

Meditation

Through sympathetic strings,
With the tambouras drone,
I now truely see the little miracles
Sprouting on my desk
Vibrant fractal beings
Composing a symphonic ode to eternity
An allegorical apparition,
Presenting to a tender eye
All that could ever be known,
Open up your eyes
Open up your mind, body, and soul
To the poem if creation transgressing,
Growing, changing, ever flowing
Like some impossible imagination,
No pen, no word, could possibly describe,
Relate, or categorize it,
Sublime thoughts no tounge may know.

The Scavenger among regular vultures

Written: May-5-2014

Who tells his father that he can't
drive home because his girlfriend
shoved something up his ass?
Charles Bukowski.
Playing the piano drunk is just that.
Sifting threw the strange duality of boredom
and vulgarity.
I've read 8 of his books now and still don't
tire of reading and actually want to read
more.
From
"Happy life of the tired."
and
"2 Flies"
you never know what to expect.
He takes the boring
mundane
no television
life
along with terrible jokes and makes
these things interesting.
The man's life was insane and brilliant.
Makes me want to visit a horse race track
in Tucson and purchase a few more
lottery tickets.
Truly brilliant poetry and very inspirational.
I would latch onto my favorite christian writer
"Charles Swindoll"
He's written as many books as Bukowski and
his stuff is clean but sadly
not that entertaining.

A vomit of adrenaline thoughts

Written: Apr-27-2014

OCD is like a chessboard
with the pieces going too fast
falling off onto my
heavily stained cream vanilla
carpeting.
I stayed up thinking
and sweating last night
wondering why all of my expectations
shattered like poorly made Russian
glass dolls.
My brain and those demonic voices
scream things:
"Get up and train! Wanna lose again?!"
"Come on you fat bastard!"
Got the draw
hit a grandmother with
a stiff round house kick.
"Get up and write! Your cat will piss all over
your documents and poems!
12 months! 12 months!"
"SHUT THE HELL UP!
CAN I SIT HERE WITH MY ROLLING ROCK
AND STARE AT THE PALM TREES
OUTSIDE?!?"
Son of a bitch!
I thought I prayed about this already.
My book sits and spits mockery while me and Rob
pop off neck caps.
The king on the chessboard isn't that protected
and i'm talking to some poor sap about the
ways of writing a novel.
The next writer can have my OCD
he'll be forced to succeed in life
so I don't have to.

Relief

I feel relief.... when I think about where I could have ended up. Relieved to know that God Loved me so much.

I feel relief....knowing that I don't have to take the pain people have inflicted upon me. My heart is not a doormat, don't wipe your feet on me.

I feel relief.... knowing that in The Lord eyes, I'm not doing much wrong. Looking forward to seeing his face, the day he calls me home.

I feel relief.... knowing that enduring all my pain was not in vain. Always kept my faith, in his holy name I prayed.

5-31-14
♡TY

The Fight Between Good & Evil

The fight between good & evil, was tearing my heart apart. Deep down I knew my soul was at war.

Something was trying to grab hold of me. Holding in so much pain, it was killing me.

I wanted to let go, when confronting the issue, I was told no. The door of opportunity was closed.

No more pain, no more tears. Why should I rot in a pit of your shame? I refuse to be a player in your game.

Now that I understand, because of my strength, you needed me. So much darkness in my eyes, it wasn't me.

People tried to convince me that their way was the only way to be set free . Free to be me, no longer afraid to explore the unseen.

Even though I had explosions, a demon you will not create. God is on my side, trying to corrupt me was your biggest mistake.

You won plenty of battles, the war you will not win. Continuing to create positivity, I know my good side will win.

9:46am
5-31-14
♡TY

Untrue

We throw around this word
like it's "our" word
(and it was "our" word, like "our" song, and "our" movie and "our" friendship)

TRUE.

As in real. Verified. Accurate. Fact.

And you said I was awesome.
And I was important.
And I was brave.
And I was worthy of love.

And you know what?

You were right. It's TRUE.

I AM AWESOME.
but you treat me like a loser.
I AM IMPORTANT.
but you treat me like I'm disposable.
I AM BRAVE.
and I'll go it alone if I have to.
AND I AM WORTHY OF LOVE.
and you don't love me.

It's TRUE.
And I'm done.

New York

Let's travel
All around New York
Follow the skyline
With our fingertips

Dress lightly
Just enough so that we
Can feel the heat
Burn our skin

Fly an aeroplane
And use your Birdseye
To see the oceans
From the pretty sky

Pick a flower
And hold her like
A candle
On a dark vigil night

Let's pray New York
Stays the same
Remains the same

Field

There is a field

That I live by

I make a pillow

Of dandelions

And grab a wish

And blow it to the sky

I wander this field

And throughout the night

I see the torch-bugs

That shutter by

Watching them flutter

Watching them glide

There was a field

I made it my home

Once all the rocks

And trees

Had all grown old

The cars

And buildings

Concrete roads

Invaded my home

And shushed all the caterpillars

Salamanders

And tadpoles

I miss my home

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